Bicycle Seat Post Goes Up Boy’s Butt

Published: February 26, 2013

Bicycle Seat Post Goes Up Boy’s Butt, It’s the cyclist’s equivalent of waking up from a nightmare in a cold sweat: contemplating the possibility that your seat would somehow come dislodged – and your seat post would go up your rear end. Unfortunately for one rider, it’s not just a nightmare anymore. A Chinese student was cycling to his first day of school when the seat bent over, and an exposed cold metal rod penetrated the boy’s buttocks.

Firefighters used the Jaws of Life to detach most of the bike, and the boy was transported to the hospital to have the rest of the frame removed. The doctors were reportedly able to remove the bicycle from the boy’s anus, and he’s fine – though we doubt he’ll ever want to get on a bike again.

On 21 February, reports of a loud “Phfffft” sound were heard around the world. Experts traced the source of this sound back to the anal sphincters of millions of Chinese netizens simultaneously shuddering upon hearing this tale of a bike ride gone terribly, terribly wrong.

According to China’s tt.mop and websites, the young student was riding to the first day of school for the year. It was a day young students all around looked forward to as one of hope, learning and new experiences.

But for one boy his first bike ride to school was to become anyone’s worst nightmare.

In what must have been a one-in-a-billion fall, the bicycle’s seat got bent over exposing a cold, merciless steel rod which penetrated the boy’s buttocks. The seat was unable to be removed.

Firefighters were called to the scene and used the Jaws of Life to detach much of the bicycle from the boy’s rear end. He was then taken to hospital by ambulance with a large portion of the bike still emerging from his butt.

Thankfully medical staff was able to remove the bike from the boy’s anus and he was released without serious injury Well, physical injury at least. Mental scarring is expected to be terminal.

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